Gradual
by Noodlehead
Summary: [FranzxAlbert] Franz has always been with Albert ever since they met at his father's funeral. But since when has he cared about him so much? Focuses on Franz's growing love for his best friend, and how he comes to accept his own feelings.
1. Prologue: Retrospect

**Disclaimer:** No, I don't own Gankutsuou, The Count, Albert, Franz, or Eugénie or anyone else in the anime. Actually, Gonzo doesn't completely own Gankutsuou since it's based on The Count of Monte Cristo... but anyway, none of it belongs to me. It would be pretty cool if it did though, it's an amazing anime. Wait, why are you reading this?

**Author's Note:** This is a pre-series fic told from Franz's point of view (but it somehow contains spoilers for the series.) Also, it's my first fanfic for an anime. Nothing else to say really, just enjoy it and please leave a comment/review!

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* * *

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**Prologue - Retrospect**

* * *

_For without you, where would I be?_

My hand strokes the side of your face. You're asleep, your head resting gently against mine. I smile, holding you just a little closer.

I'm gazing at your undisturbed, tranquil expression, the way your mouth curls in a small smile. The iridescent glow of the moon that falls around your face is slowly fading away, blending into the subtle first signs of dawn.

I pull myself off the enveloping warmth of the bed, walking over towards the balcony, welcoming the saltwater breeze that immerses me as I step into the early morning air. It's comfortable here; bathed in a fresh, silent ambience, save for the soothing whispers of sinuous waves.

_I'm not going to run away anymore._

You're awake now, rubbing at your eyes sleepily as you come to stand my side, leaning your elbows on the balcony. Your quiet gaze is lost at sea, illuminated in the undulating waves. We watch the ocean together, comfortably silent for a while in each other's presence.

"Albert," I say softly, captured by your azure eyes. "Good morning."


	2. Act I: Reason

**Act I - Reason**

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* * *

**

_This is how we met._

I wonder if you remember that day. I always think about it a lot, since it was the day that brought me to you. However, I also wonder: what if we hadn't met? What if I never crossed paths with you? At times like those, I realize that it's impossible to imagine a life without you.

You don't talk about it much, so I often think that you've probably forgotten about it. But whenever you do mention it, there's always an air of courteous detachment around you. You're cautious with your words then, careful not to dig in too deep.

Lately, I've noticed something. Do you keep silent because you know it's a painful memory for me?

* * *

It was ironically sunny that March morning, in a morbid sort of way. I remember staring at my polished black dress shoes, focusing on the way that the sunlight would bore into my eyes, reflected off of them. But regardless of what I did, I couldn't shake the thought from my mind. 

_What have I done?_

The oppressive stiffness that lingered in the air weighed down on my shoulders as I stared blindly before me. A painful, aching, premature storm that tore within my chest, the one I had thought was over, had awakened once again. There were faces there, eyeless, blank faces, drowned by the murmur of a distant voice I had no desire to decipher. But I paid no heed. In my mind, I was alone.

_Fine, then! Don't ever come back!_

A heavy, choking sensation filled my lungs as my ears throbbed violently. Just when had the atmosphere begun to feel so restricting? I could feel my body slowly suffocating, dissolving away into stale air. Guilt mocked me, hovering before me, devouring the little will I had left.

After all, what meaning was there? What was left?

_Nothing._

No one was listening. These thoughts screamed inside my mind, but no one cared. It seemed like no one even noticed. I needed to break free, to escape.

_No, this isn't right. I can't be here._

I must have taken off then, because the next thing I could remember was the resounding beat in my chest. It escalated, became faster as I ran, rising up my throat. I refused to acknowledge it: I couldn't take the thought of still being alive after taking the life of one whom I loved.

_If I keep running, maybe I'll be able to breathe again._

Sunlight and shadows, sliding past my eyes: those images buried themselves into my mind. It's strange how such a beautiful day could seem so sinister, perhaps boasting at my pain. I can remember the way the cool spring air licked my cheeks, the way the tranquil morning ambience made me feel empty and meaningless inside.

_But what am I running from? My father? My guilt? Myself?_

I stopped, collapsing on a shaded step in front of the church. The birds were singing, but I could only cry.

It was flooding. Flooding out of my eyes. I couldn't keep these feelings in any longer. Ceaseless tears, flowing down my face, exhausted emotions spewed out along with them. I clumsily wiped them away, struggling to calm my breath.

A sharp stinging panged against the side of my head.

There was a brown-haired boy standing at the doorway, tossing a pebble in his hand. His bright blue eyes glistened as he smiled. Where had I seen those eyes before? Laughing, he lightly threw another one as he approached.

"Don't cry," he reassured me with a smile.

"I'm not." I turned away, still a bit lost in my emotions. I didn't want to look at anyone, much less have anyone looking at me. Not when I was like this.

"I'll play with you," he suggested, arms slightly outstretched.

"Shut up! Go away!"

I jerked my head around and buried my eyes in my sleeve. Why couldn't people just leave me alone?

But the other boy was crying. Crying? I looked up at him, getting to my feet as I momentarily forgot my own worries.

"H-Hey…" I put a hand on his trembling shoulder. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…"

His breathing was short and broken as he choked on tears. As I watched his face contort in sadness, I began to feel regretful of my actions. Selfishly, I had been too lost in my own feelings to consider others.

"I… I didn't mean to make you cry," I told him, offering an awkward smile despite my own watery eyes. "Here, sit down."

I took a seat next to the boy, my hand still resting on his shoulder, as if in hopes to steady him. He hiccupped slightly, wiping his face as he looked up at me through clear, honest eyes.

It was then when I remembered. He had been looking at me earlier with curiosity, observing my emotionless expression. Had he worried about me? When I took off, had he run after me?

"It's all right," he told me. "I just wanted to make you feel better, but I'm not that good at that type of thing." He let out a nervous laugh, grinning.

Something must have happened then. A little part of me must have awakened. I blinked, bringing my hands to my sides.

As I smiled back at the boy, I became conscious of it: I could actually breathe now. I looked at his face, his delicate sincerity, truly seeing him for the first time.

Sunlight shimmered softly as the branches shifted in the breeze, casting upon his luminous eyes. When I noticed the sky had the same azure tint, I came to the conclusion that the day wasn't so sinister after all.

In fact, it was actually quite beautiful.

"Thank you," I told him softly.

To my own surprise, I found myself reaching out towards him, embracing him in a hug. The boy stifled for a short moment, but soon relaxed, letting out a sigh as the last of his tears slid down his face.

I couldn't help but notice how his body felt warm and comforting in my arms. It was strange, for at such a young age, to have such feelings… why was it? Was it because it was him?

As he rested his teary face on my shoulder, I didn't realize that there was something he may never know.

That day, I hadn't necessarily thanked him for trying to make me feel better. I had thanked him for giving me something to live for.


	3. Act II: Bonds

**Act II - Bonds**

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* * *

**

_This is how we became best friends._

Say, Albert, do you remember?

On rainy days, we'd always go there. It seemed like a secret hideout for us, where we could go and escape from the rest of the world for the day. Normally, sitting around in a cramped space with someone for hours isn't that appealing to me, but with you, it was always fun.

What would we do? Well, anything, really. Play cards, do homework (although it was mostly me doing the work, and you fooling around with my model ship collection), go on the computer we set up ourselves, eat the desserts we scrounged from your kitchen before dinner, or just sit around and talk. It was a special place, a haven for just the two of us.

Even Eugénie didn't come up there. Well, at least not too often.

Now, when was it that we started going there? A little less than three years after we met, right?

* * *

"Franz!" Albert yelled, waving his hand as he came running towards me. "Hey, Franz!" His boots padded across the snow, crunching softly as he came closer. "Wait up!" 

_Franz! Franz, you're so ungrateful!_

It was a crisp December afternoon – the air felt thin and chilling, in a strange sort of way. A gray sky of clouds cast overhead, crowding the sunlight out in masses. I swallowed hard, trying to smother the rising feelings in my stomach.

It hadn't snowed in a while.

_Do you know how hard I try to support this family?_

School had just ended, and I was walking home alone. Albert would always get annoyed if I left without him.

_If only your father hadn't died!_

"Geez, Franz." As Albert caught up, he scowled. He was panting now, his hands on his knees. His cheeks were flushed pink. "Why didn't you wait for me?"

"Sorry." I told him flatly, turning away from his exasperated gaze. I felt a bit guilty, but I just didn't want to talk to him that day.

Albert's eyes lit up in concern. "What's wrong?" He put a gloved hand on my shoulder.

I brushed him away. "Nothing's wrong." I retorted, maybe a bit too harshly. "Just forget about it."

Albert drew back, hesitantly looking away. I continued to walk forward, but from the corner of my eye, I could see that he was still following me. I was just about to whisk around, to tell him to leave me alone for the day, but Albert stopped me before I could say anything.

"I… I never got the chance to thank you earlier," he began, his voice cautious, almost as if he was afraid of irritating me.

I raised an eyebrow at him, but said nothing.

"So… thank you." He looked away, hiding his embarrassment.

I pretended to not know what he meant, but I couldn't help noting the red scarf that was wrapped snugly around his neck. He noticed my reaction, meeting my eyes with a wide smile. I immediately turned away.

_Don't you turn away from me! Look at me when I'm talking to you!_

"Yeah," I watched the way the snow would compress beneath the weight of my shoes. I couldn't look at him now, when I felt like I was about to cry.

_You're such a useless child!_

"Franz? Franz… are you crying?" I could feel Albert's voice by my ear. He was coming closer to me; he was going to see my tears.

That's when I broke.

"Just go away, Albert!" I yelled. "Leave me alone!"

His arm was still outstretched as I walked away from him. I vowed that no matter how much I wanted to, no matter how bad I felt, I wouldn't look back. Even as he called out for me, even as he began to apologize, I continued to walk on.

This time, he didn't follow me.

* * *

A phone call came later that day. 

I was sitting up in my room at the time, staring at my mathematics textbook. Long division was a cinch for me, but for some reason, I couldn't muster the initiative to open my notebook. I'd been sitting at my desk for almost an hour, trying to distract myself with the inky night sky outside my window.

But it hadn't worked. I could still hear my mother's sobbing cries from the dining hall. She had gotten upset with one of our maids this time, screaming at her for breaking a set of our finest china. I loved my mother so much, but when she was like this, I found it hard to be around her.

_It was so much better when your father was here!_

Yes, Father. If only Father was here, things would be all right. We would all be happy again. She would constantly use him as an excuse.

I shut my eyes tight. My fists abruptly came down onto the polished wood of my desk. I cared about her. Even so, why couldn't I help her?

Why couldn't I protect the ones I loved?

I really was useless after all. I wanted to get away from here, to escape to some other place where none of this mattered.

_Knock, knock._

"Young master," a voice called from my door. "A phone call for you."

"Come in," I replied uneasily, unfamiliar with the wavering tone of my voice.

When I picked up the phone, I was surprised to hear the voice of Madame Morcerf. She seemed anxious, her voice traced with worry and concern.

"Franz, is Albert at your house?"

"No, Mme…" A strange feeling started to swell in my stomach. "Did something happen?"

"He's been missing ever since he left school today." Her voice was trembling now. "I've called the Danglars, but he isn't over there either. Eugénie told me he would probably be with you."

"Mme Morcerf, I saw him earlier today after school, but…" A pang of guilt stopped my words. "I'm sorry; I should have walked home with him."

"It's all right, Franz. I'm sure he'll come home soon." She sighed, followed by a short pause. Was she really assuring me, or perhaps herself? "If you find him, please let me know."

"I will, Madame Morcerf."

I sat in silence a while after, crumpling an empty page of my homework.

That idiot. Why had he gone off by himself, making his parents worry? I was frustrated with him, but at the same time, frustrated with myself.

Had I really hurt him that much?

But where could he be? It was already way past dinner, and the streets were nearly empty. Albert wasn't the type of person to go wandering around at night for no reason.

I was ashamed to know that I was the cause of it.

* * *

Ten minutes later, wrapped in the warmth of a winter coat, I was running down the lonely snow-covered streets in search of him. Few strangers would pass me by, and as they did, I would have a spark of hope: could that be Albert? To my dismay, I only saw unfamiliar faces. 

"Albert!" It had begun to snow by now. Tiny white frozen crystals were floating down to surround me. It was too late to look for footprints he may have left behind. "Albert!"

But what answered me was the silence of vacant streets.

_Somewhere,_ I thought. _There must be somewhere that Albert would be likely to go off to._ Where would he go when he was sad? Wasn't there any place that he might escape to, like a secret hideout or something?

A secret hideout… Wait, what was it exactly…

As I pondered, a single snowflake drifted down to land on my outstretched palm. It felt delicately bitter against my bare skin. I watched as it dissolved into a tiny puddle in my hand.

When had I seen this before?

* * *

Albert, Eugénie and I had gone outside for the afternoon, building forts in the snow. It had been about a month ago, hadn't it? 

"Hey, Franz, Eugénie – look! Look at this!" Albert motioned to us excitedly.

I put down the block of snow I'd been patting together for our fort. As I went over towards the two of them, I stared at Albert's bare neck. Wasn't he cold like that? He had pulled off his gloves, relishing the tiny crystallized snowflake that had landed on his hand.

"Ooh, it's so pretty!" Eugénie shifted on her knees to peer over Albert's shoulder. "I wish I could catch one and have it stay like that."

Eugénie was right. It was a beautiful thing, fragile and pure. As I studied it, it seemed untainted… free, almost. I looked up at Albert's deep blue eyes, wide in wonder.

What was the right word? _Ah, I know._

Innocent.

"So what? It's just a snowflake," I scoffed.

"Aw, it melted." Eugénie sighed in disappointment. "Oh well, they always have to melt, eventually."

"Yeah. But it's nice while it lasts, huh?" Albert smiled gently towards her.

From the semi-circle of a wall that was our fort, I turned away.

"Hey, you guys, can't we do something a little more interesting than looking at snowflakes?" I suggested, although it came out as more of a command.

"Yeah! How about a snowball fight?" Albert seemed a bit overzealous about the idea. "Boys against girls!"

"That's not fair!" Eugénie exclaimed. "I'm the only girl. You two are always together!"

However, Albert didn't seem too keen on considering a change in rules. He was stubborn like that. He had laughed, teasingly, waving as he grabbed my arm to pull me away with him.

"Albert! Franz! Where are you guys going?" Eugénie called, getting up off of her knees to run after us.

"To find a fort, of course!" Albert yelled in reply. Then, turning towards me, he whispered mischievously: "I guess a snow fort won't work after all. We'll need a real secret base to hide from Eugénie."

He pulled me through tangled branches and fallen trees, causing scratches along the way. I didn't mind, though: I found it hard to focus on anything other than the strange feeling that I received from having Albert's bare hand tightly clasped around my own.

A few minutes later, we finally found our way into a desolate, snow-capped street. An abandoned stone building that somewhat resembled a partly collapsed battlement stood before us. In its own tattered, ice-glazed way, it was magnificent.

"Hey, Franz!" Albert smiled with the radiance of an accomplishment. "Just look at that. Isn't it perfect?"

* * *

I took off running. I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. Yes, that had to be the place. If he wasn't there, I wasn't sure where else he would be. 

By the time I reached those wide, aged doors, my legs were numb and aching. But I didn't care. I leaned a hand against the wide entrance to catch my breath. Unexpectedly, the door creaked open.

Hadn't the place been boarded up before? I peered into the darkness of the building before me. No, he couldn't have…

Hesitantly, I walked into the shadowed building, the floors slightly groaning beneath my feet as I ventured further. It smelled of musk and damp wood inside here. I had the urge to put my hand against the wall to guide myself, but I was afraid of what I might happen to accidentally touch.

"Albert…" my voice trailed off as I began to have doubts. "Albert, are you there?"

Silence.

"Albert?" I took another blind step, but soon stopped myself. Something was near.

From a few feet in front of me, I felt the squirming of something hidden in darkness. The shuffling of wood scraped against the floor. Then came a distinctive moan.

"F-Franz…? Is that you?" Relieved, I rushed towards his voice, almost tripping over scraps of wood that were in the way.

"Albert! What happened to you?"

I didn't have to wait for his reply, however. It was pretty obvious. Above us, part of the upper floor had collapsed in on him. Moonlight from an open window above spilled onto his face. He was covered in dust and debris.

Pushing away the mounds of chipped wood, I was horrified to see that Albert was bleeding in multiple places. A large plank had fallen on his forehead, leaving a severe gash. He must have been out cold for a while.

I went over to support his back, holding up his face to mine. His hands were stiffened cold – he had taken his gloves off earlier when he broke off the planks to open the entrance.

"I… I fell. And then all of this fell on top of me." He laughed meekly then, almost in spite of his stupid actions. "I'm sorry… for what happened today."

"No… no, don't be!" I was trembling, out of happiness or fear, I don't know. "But Albert… what were you thinking, coming here by yourself?"

"I wanted to give you an early Christmas present." Albert smiled slightly. "Just like you gave me this scarf." He held out a bruised hand to lift up the red scarf that was still around his neck.

"What?" my tone was incredulous.

"I knew you were sad, Franz… I thought that maybe if I cleared out this place, you would be happy. It could be our secret hideout."

"Albert…"

"I didn't know that this place was so old, though." He laughed. "For it to fall on me like this…"

The dim moonlight lit up his soft blue eyes. His eyelids were beginning to droop. I could tell he was tired. He smiled at me slowly, carefully placing a hand behind my neck.

"Albert, you idiot…" I held him closer to me, feeling his warmth. "I don't need a present."

Albert said nothing for a while. He put his arms around my coat; and frankly, I didn't care if he got blood on it. I was just thankful that he was safe.

"Say, Franz… when we're together like this…" He paused for a moment.

"It's warm, isn't it?"

I closed my eyes.

"Yeah."


	4. Act III: Gratitude

**Act III - Gratitude**

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* * *

**  
_This is how I realized that you're irreplaceable to me._

I often wonder why you do things for me. Not just normal favors, like walking back to school with me to get the textbook I forgot, or helping me clean up my room on a Saturday morning: those are ordinary tasks. That's what friends do, right? They help each other out.

Then why do you often go out of your own way, putting yourself on the line? Is it because you want to make others happy that you're willing to risk yourself? Sometimes, I realize you can be so oblivious. And it's not just to things that could hurt you.

Albert, I don't want to lose you.

You can do some rash things when you're fired up about something. What pains me the most is that once you've made your decision, there's no changing it. You insist on getting things done on your own. Why won't you accept the help of others?

Why can't you see that by putting yourself in danger, you're only hurting me more?

* * *

It was a quiet April afternoon, gray and stagnant. The sky overhead was crowded with colorless clouds. Damp leaves covered our path; limp and unmoving, save for the occasional cold breeze that would blow by. 

"So this used to be your father's?" Albert asked, running along beside me as he observed the refined gold wristwatch in his hands. "Man, it must have cost a fortune."

Albert and I were running towards the secret hideout that day. School had ended an hour early, so were going to finish up our homework there – by researching on the computer that we set up last summer – before spending the rest of our time doing as we pleased.

Well, so I was the one who insisted on finishing our homework first. Albert kept complaining, telling me that we could just slack off, since our project wasn't due until next week, anyway. Sometimes he could be so carefree.

_But maybe that's one of the qualities that I like about him._

"Franz?" Albert waved a hand in front of my face. "Why'd you stop running?"

I blinked, shaking my head. "It's nothing," I assured him. "'Was just thinking."

"Hmm?" Albert gave me a strange look, cocking an eyebrow at me. I had a dreadful feeling that he was going to ask me just _what_ I was thinking about, but my worries didn't last for long.

"So how long have you had this thing?" he asked, referring to the gold watch that was now clasped onto his wrist. Well, more like his arm. It was too big for him. "It's all right if I wear it, right?"

"Yeah." I walked along, kicking the moist earth under my feet. "Six years. My father gave it to me the night before my birthday… you know, the night before he…"

"Oh." Albert was apprehensive as he looked away. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made you mention that. I didn't think..."

"It's fine," I replied flatly. It actually didn't bother me that much anymore. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to take out the watch to show it to him.

The atmosphere became strange between us. What was there to say?

"But… since it's from your father, it must be really special to you." Albert smiled, tracing the grooves of its polished face with his finger. He looked up at me. "Right?"

I snorted in an amused laugh.

"What?" Albert protested, frowning. "What's so funny?"

"I don't know, it's just your expression… smiling at a watch like that…" I explained. However, I could tell I wasn't getting anywhere, because he still seemed annoyed. I smiled. "You're such a simple person."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" Albert insisted. I chuckled under my breath.

"Nothing, nothing!" I told him, giving him a wave as I began to run. "Now come on, we better get there before it starts raining."

"Hey! Franz!" Albert complained. "Don't try to change the subject!"

He dashed after me, shaking his fist in the air as he yelled. I only laughed teasingly, running away to provoke Albert's already irritated mood.

"Franz!" he called. "Get back here!"

* * *

I felt comfortable like this. Outside of the window, clouds loomed above us, threatening to burst at any given time. But enclosed in the safe shelter of our hideout, it felt warm and safe. The power had gone out shortly after we arrived, so research on the computer was out of the question. I had lit up an oil lamp for us to work next to. 

"Hey, Franz, look at this!" Albert laughed. "Your face looks so funny!"

I was sitting at my desk, writing our rough draft, while Albert… well, Albert _said_ he would read and take down some more notes, but I found it hard to see how our photo album had much to do with ancient Greece.

"What is it this time?" I groaned, pushing myself away from the desk. "It better not be one of those pictures where you drew over me with permanent marker."

"Come on Franz, why are you always like that?" Albert whined. He was lying on his stomach, leaning on his elbows with the photo album left open on the floor in front of him. "That was only _one_ time. And I apologized for it, too! You're too serious."

"I'm too serious?" I blinked, getting down on my knees to look at the photos with him. "I don't think I'm too serious. You just need to focus more, Albert." I poked him in the side.

"Ow!" he winced, shooting me a deathly glare. I laughed at his squinty eyes. Then, rather spontaneously, he stuck out his tongue. "But you have to admit that it was pretty funny."

"Funny? You made me look like a cow!" I exclaimed. "What was with the spots and huge nose you gave me?"

Albert only giggled. After I calmed down, he lifted the sticky transparent film off a page in the album and peeled off a photograph.

"This is the picture I wanted to show you," he told me, lifting it up for me to see. "See? No permanent marker. It was taken last September, on our first day in secondary school."

I took the picture from his hands. In the photograph, I was standing between Eugénie and Albert, squeezing my cheeks in with my palms and glaring into the camera with my tongue sticking out. An irritated Albert was trying to pull my hands off my face, while Eugénie stood with her hand behind her head, looking embarrassed.

"What was I doing?" I laughed, throwing the picture back at Albert. "I must have gone crazy or something."

"I think you were mad about the fact that we were put in different classes," he told me. "Remember how you got your mother to talk to the superintendent so that all three of us would be in the same class?"

"Yeah…" my voice trailed off. I couldn't help noticing the way Albert's eyes seemed to shimmer in the dim light of our hideout.

"Oh, I like this one." Albert pointed to another photo still stuck the album. "We took a lot of pictures that day."

In the photo, I had my arms around my two best friends, a wide smile on my face. Albert was glancing at me hesitantly while Eugénie had an uncomfortable, shy smile.

"Heh." Albert picked up the other picture, the one with me and my hideous expression, once more. He laughed. "You were a little goofy that morning."

"But you know…" he began quietly, "I think I like you like that."

Thunder started to groan outside, resounding in the small room that surrounded us. It was rumbling ominously, causing the window pane to shiver.

"W-What?" The thumping in my chest suddenly became more apparent.

"When you're not so serious, I mean." Albert turned towards me, smiling genuinely. "I like you… when you're like that."

Lightning tore across the clouds, igniting a shower of violent rain. It pounded on the glass of the window, drumming out the silence that was suspended on the tip of my tongue.

"Uh... yeah." I coughed, clearing my throat. I couldn't look directly into Albert's eyes for a while.

Albert must have sensed the difference in my behavior then, because he opted to change the subject.

"Hey, Franz, what time is it?" he asked, closing the album and wiggling over on his elbows to tuck it away on the bookshelf.

"I don't know," I replied, staring awkwardly out the window. The rain was getting pretty heavy now. It was like someone was pouring buckets of water down from the sky. "Don't you have my watch?"

The room was momentarily flooded in a flash of ghastly light.

"Franz…" Albert looked mortified. "Franz, I think I lost it."

"What?" I blinked at him. "Didn't you have it when we got here?"

"I… I don't know," he seemed anxious now. "I'm so sorry, Franz."

"Don't be stupid!" I got off my feet to search the room. "It probably just fell off. It's got to be here somewhere."

After searching for fifteen minutes, Albert got up. He went over to the chair and took his raincoat. I heard the sound of his rapid footsteps stomping down the wooden staircase.

"Albert! Where are you going?" I called after him, running to the stairs. He couldn't possibly be thinking of going out in this weather, could he?

"Out," he replied. "You stay here, Franz."

He pushed open the front door, letting in a chilling wind. The rain cried heavily beyond him. Without turning back, he added, "I'm going to go look for it."

"Albert! Albert, wait!"

But he paid no heed. The door shut tightly behind him, leaving only a puddle of rainwater left where he had been standing.

"Albert…" I hung my head, clenching the stair railing.

What was that idiot thinking?

* * *

Apparently, "that idiot" had also thought to take my bike. 

I'd left it there the day before after biking home from school. Unfortunately for me, Albert had walked that day, so I had no efficient way of chasing after him.

_It's times like these when I realize I should bring a lock next time._

The wind felt overpowering and unmerciful against my face. It howled as it sent raindrops flying into my eyes. With all that water, the only thing I could see was the continuous splashing of the rain against pavement.

_How can Albert get anywhere in weather like this?_

I forced myself through the endless screens of falling water, cursing Albert under my breath. For sure he was going to have a cold when he'd come back. Though the thought of taking care of him until he was well again didn't actually seem that bad, I was concerned about what other potential dangers might befall him.

A bolt of lightning shot from the sky, branching out towards the earth for a split second. It felt like the ground was echoing.

Beyond the tattered path by our hideout, which was now flooded in shallow pools of rain, I could barely make out a faint outline of a bike heading towards the shortcut we'd often take from school.

Namely, my bike. With Albert on it.

I pursued his faint silhouette, nearly slipping on the mud-caked path. I was almost choking on my own breathing and acid rain when he was finally only a few feet away from me.

"Albert!" I called, reaching out my arm to grab the back of his shirt. But he was too fast. "Albert, wait!"

I couldn't tell if he hadn't heard me – maybe my exhausted yells had been drowned out by the pounding rain. Or maybe Albert simply chose not to hear them.

Before I could get the chance to stop him, make him turn around – anything, really – Albert had been consumed by the bleak grayness that lay before me.

I clenched my fists, mad now. Did he want to get killed?

"Albert!" I yelled after him. "If you want to search for it, at least give me my bike back! You're just asking to get in an accident with rain like this!"

No reply.

Of course. Was it really reasonable to expect one from someone as stubborn as him? I let out a breath of frustration. Regardless of how ticked off I was at him, Albert was still my best friend. I had to go after him.

I splashed my way through puddles, pushing back the odd branch that was in my way as I trudged into the darkness of the surrounding trees. The raindrops that bored into my skull were beginning to feel a bit irritating now.

As I ducked under a leafy branch, I heard a squish of wet leaves somewhere not too far from myself. A soaked Albert was crouching to the ground, struggling with something.

I hadn't noticed what lay before me, because my leg was suddenly caught with a strike against my shin. I toppled over on the ground, hitting my forehead on a tire. As if stealing it to go biking in the rain wasn't enough, that idiot had left my bike lying on the ground, too.

"Albert!" I ran up to my friend's side. He was still on the ground, pulling at something I couldn't quite see through all the rain. "Come on, let's go back."

He didn't reply. He didn't even turn around. Maybe he hadn't heard me.

"Albert?" I called, a little louder this time.

"I told you to stay there!" he yelled immediately, infuriated.

His hunched figure was illuminated with a crash in the sky. For a short moment, I saw his eyes: enraged with blue flames. I took a step back, shocked by his tone. It was the first time I'd ever seen him so angry.

"Albert, I couldn't let you go outside like this." I explained. I was surprised at how meek my voice sounded. "Let's go back, okay?" I held out a hand to him.

"Why don't _you_ go back?" he shouted, yanking at whatever was stuck in the ground. It was more of an order than an idea. "I can handle this myself!"

"Albert… what's wrong with you?" My extended hand had started to tremble.

"No, Franz," he told me sternly, "What's wrong with _you_?"

He whipped around to stare at me then, his face streaked with dirt. His mouth shook fiercely in anger.

"Why are you always following me, always trying to save me?" he yelled, his voice echoed by the resounding thunder.

"What…?"

"Just cut it out already, damn it!" he exclaimed. "I don't need you following me around all the time!"

"_What?_" My feelings of shock and fear soon turned to anger. I had already been a little irritated with him, but this was my breaking point. "How the hell is that a bad thing? I've only ever tried to help you!"

"Help?" Albert laughed spitefully. "Yeah, right! Stop treating me like a child!"

"I don't need another mother!" Lightning flashed in his eyes, soon followed by the growls of thunder. I could feel the earth become limp beneath my feet.

"I'm not!" I shot back, shivering in fury. "You're the one who's always so ungrateful!"

"That's because I don't need you to help me in the first place!" Albert was standing now, screaming in my face. "Let me do something on my own for once! Stop trying to protect me all the time!"

"Fine!" I yelled, throwing my arms up in the air. "I won't help you! You're such a dense idiot anyway."

"What? So I'm an idiot now? Real mature, Franz!" Albert clenched his fists in rage. He took a step towards me, yelling even louder. "And what do you mean, 'I'm dense'?"

"Nothing!" I turned away from his blazing eyes. "Just shut up, Albert! Go ahead and get yourself killed, for all I care!"

_Crash._

It happened too fast for me to be aware of what was going on. It was a simultaneous thing: One moment I had been yelling my lungs out at Albert, and the next, with a blinding explosion of light, we were down on the ground.

A large, fallen tree lay just a few feet away from us. It sizzled and steamed slightly, still fuming from the lightning that had hit it.

The two of us said nothing, our breaths uneven and trembling.

_We could have died._

Inhaling desperately, I blinked at the space below the fallen tree. If I hadn't come here in time… if Albert was still hunched above the ground over there… if I had been standing there with him…

_We could have died._

I swallowed hard. My eyes felt like they were stinging. Streaks of water were running down my face now. I couldn't tell if it was from the rain, or if I was crying.

After a few moments of utter shock, I cautiously turned to Albert. His own once scorching blue eyes had been reduced to quavering pools of fear. He turned toward me, and as he did so, a tear slid down his cheek.

"Franz…" he whimpered. He pulled himself over to my side and buried his face in my damp shirt. "Franz, I thought I lost you."

Hesitantly, I placed my arms around him, steadying his back. I myself was trembling. I found it hard to find my voice again.

"Albert… I'm sorry." I rested my head on his trembling shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

Into my shirt, Albert mumbled something unintelligible. When he said it again, strangely, I could hear it clearly over the pounding rain.

"I'm sorry too."

I had a sort of nervous half-smile then. Albert wasn't one to apologize. I put a hand over the back of his head, slowly stroking his wet hair.

"Let's… let's go back, okay?"

* * *

It felt cozy inside the warmth of our hideout, dimly lit by the oil lamp that was now placed on the floor. We were sheltered from the cold rain outside. The violent drumming of droplets had slowed to a steady, light patter by now, but we had no intentions to head back home at the time. It was comfortable inside there. 

Albert and I lay on one of the futons together, wrapped in a warm blanket. I held him gently in my arms, wiping away the water on his face with a free hand. He looked so peaceful.

Albert slowly opened his eyes, looking up at me sleepily.

"I'm sorry…" he told me.

"You already apologized, Albert." I pushed a strand of damp hair out of his eyes. "It's fine now."

"No…" he looked troubled. "I'm sorry I couldn't get the watch back for you. It was stuck in the ground."

"Oh…" So that's what he had been doing.

"And then it got crushed by the tree…" Albert's face crumpled in dismay. "I'm so sorry; it was important to you."

"It's okay, Albert…" I smiled at him softly. Then, quietly, I added, "I was going to give it to you anyway."

Closing my eyes, I recalled the conversation I had had with Eugénie the week before.

* * *

Eugénie ended her piece with a resonant chord, heartfelt and delicate. Her eyes opened slowly as she lifted her hands from the keys, gazing at me with patiently, a slight smile on her face. 

"So?" she asked reluctantly. "What do you think?"

I could only gape at her in amazement. The stanzas of her composition rang clear in my mind, replaying themselves over again in her sweeping, flowing style.

"It's beautiful," I told her. And I meant it. "More than that, actually. It's a masterpiece. I'm sure your mother will love it."

Eugénie laughed, getting up from the piano to take a seat next to me. She swiped a milk biscuit off the tray that was centered on the table before me.

"You don't have to suck up to me that much, Franz." She gave me a friendly wink, breaking off the biscuit in her mouth. "If it's that bad, just tell me."

"No, I was serious." I nodded along with my words, though now that I look back at it, it probably just made me seem like I was being sarcastic. "Honestly. It's amazing. You're going to be famous one day, I know it."

"Yeah, right." Eugénie sighed, seeming discouraged. "Like that would ever happen."

I turned to the large balcony windows before us, watching the fresh, sunlit sky.

"Hey, Eugénie…"

"What is it?" She leaned her head to the side, studying my blank expression.

"Say there's this person that I want to get something for…" I began. "Wait, let me reword that."

"Okay." Eugénie seemed patient, but a little confused. "Go on."

"Say there's this person that I care about, and I want to get something for them. You know, to tell them I appreciate them…" my awkward voice faded off. "Or something like that."

"What about it, Franz?"

"Well, what should I get them?" I asked her. She blinked in response.

"Why are you asking me this, though?" She stuck another biscuit in her mouth. Absent-mindedly, she added: "Want one?"

"No, I'm all right." I replied, waving it away before I turned back the window. "Well, you came up with that really good idea to write a song for your mother, so…"

"Oh! So you want to get a gift for your mother!" Eugénie smiled. "Franz, why didn't you just say so?"

"Uh… yeah." I couldn't exactly deny her, but I also couldn't bring myself to fully agree with it, either. "Sure."

"Well, why don't you give her something that's really precious?" she suggested. "Like, something that's really important to you."

"Oh, okay."

"Oh! And also –" Eugénie was excited now. She was always one to help out friends, giving them advice when in need. "Get her something shiny. Or expensive-looking. Like jewelry or whatever. Mothers like that."

I took note of her suggestions in my mind. They were all good points, but I wasn't sure if they applied to my situation.

"Do best friends like shiny things too?" I asked her.

"Huh?"

"Nevermind."

* * *

"Franz?" Albert looked up at my eyes. "Did you say something just now?" 

"Don't worry about it," I assured him. I pulled the blanket over his shoulder. "Just rest for now, Albert."

"We're going to stay here tonight, right?" he settled himself deeper in his pillow. "Because I don't really feel like going anywhere."

"Yeah." I wrapped my arms around him then. Albert shivered, but I couldn't tell if it was because he was cold, or because I had touched him.

Either way, he pulled me closer to him, close enough for me to feel his breath on my neck. I carefully rested my head on his pillow, inhaling the familiar scent of his damp hair. Closing my eyes, I whispered:

"Me neither."


	5. Act IV: Nostalgia

**Act IV - Nostalgia**

**

* * *

**

_This is how we made memories together._

I guess I sort of knew it was going to happen eventually. But when I finally found out, why had I felt so surprised? You had said it yourself, right? Now that I think about it, it could have just as easily been me. Regardless, we both know: aristocrats only marry for money. So it was likely to expect that you'd have an arranged marriage.

Maybe that was around the time that I began to notice it.

You didn't seem too bothered by the whole idea. You talked of it as if it was a prospect of the far-off future, as if it was none of our concern. When you'd smile casually like it was no big deal, and tell me you could only ever think of her as a friend, I wondered: over time, would your feelings change?

It seemed only natural. All three of us were often together. The two of you were so precious to me, but as we grew older, she started to look at you differently. I began to wonder what it would be like if I were to become unneeded.

At the time, I was unsettled to know that I was afraid. Afraid that you'd sail away from me, beyond my reach. That even if I had called for you, all you would hear would be the distant laughter of a childhood friendship long gone.

* * *

It was a late afternoon in September – a hazy, orange cobblestone pathway lay before us. The sun was glowing with an iridescent resonance, enveloping the buildings in blankets of gold. I watched the way it revolved past trees' branches, casting kaleidoscopic patterns of light on the back of my hands. 

"Hey, Albert! Hurry up already!" I called, urging my legs to pedal a bit faster. "We've got to get to your house and change before it starts. I can borrow one of your suits, right?"

"Yeah, sure. But geez, stop going so fast!" Albert, from a few feet behind me, let out a frustrated groan. "What's so good about getting there early?

"Well, if you hadn't broken your chain this morning on our way to school, we wouldn't have to hurry like this." I told him. "And why was I the one who had to fix it?"

"You know I'm not good at those things." he replied.

"Come on, let's go faster." I leaned forward a bit on my bike. Albert exhaled rather noisily, discouraged.

"Why are you so eager to go there anyway?" he scoffed. "I hate formal dinner parties."

I laughed. Albert had a defiant frown on his face, sunlight glistening in his eyes. He rode his bike leisurely, unmotivated to get home any quicker.

"Ah, come on. You're thirteen already." I pointed out.

"So?" Albert shot back, annoyed. "What do you mean by that?"

"So of course you have to attend these things." Even though he was more than half a year older than me, he still acted like a little kid sometimes. I turned back to give him a smirk.

When Albert let out a defeated-sounding, "humph," I only smiled. He'd always been like this. During social gatherings when we were younger, Madame Morcerf would often leave him to me. "Make sure he doesn't run off somewhere by himself, okay?" she'd tell me. "Albert always gets restless at parties."

"But still." Albert quickened his pace a bit, pedaling fast enough until he came to my side. "I don't really want to go. This one's different."

"Hmm?" I lazily replied, giving him a sideways glance, although I already had an idea of what he meant.

"It's because Eugénie will be there…" Albert looked perplexed. "And you know, we're…"

"You're engaged now?" I finished for him. I was surprised at the strange way it came out of my mouth, but Albert didn't seem to notice the rift in my voice.

"Yeah. I mean, how am I supposed to talk to her?" he watched the townhouses fly by, bathed in an autumn glow. "It's just so weird."

"Just talk to her like you always do." I turned to the road ahead, pedaling a bit faster. "It can't be that hard, can it?"

"It is! It's different now, Franz." Albert sighed. "The way it is between me and her, I mean. Since last week, it's like she's a different person."

"Oh." I didn't turn around. "And do you…" I took a deep breath, being careful to articulate my words casually.

"Do you think you like this 'different person'?"

"Well…" he paused for a bit, deep in thought.

"Actually… I really don't know. Eugénie just happened to be who my parents picked. She's always been friends with us, so it's hard… Even though she seems like someone else, it's hard to think of her… in that way."

"I see." I found it impossible to say much else.

_He doesn't know. Not a "no", but better than him saying "yes", right?_

I squeezed tighter on my handlebars.

What was I thinking? Didn't I want Eugénie and Albert to be happy? Then what was so wrong about them being happy together? I focused on the clicking of my bicycle tires to drown out my thoughts.

_Some friend I am._

"Franz…" Albert began softly. "How come you're usually so quiet about this?"

I hadn't planned to reply right away. I hadn't actually planned to reply at all. After all, how could I talk to him about something like this? It was hard enough for me to even think about it. But the words decided to clumsily squeeze their way out of my mouth.

"Albert, I…" It was difficult to search for the right thing to say next. The sun was beginning to set. We were going to be late, but that didn't matter anymore. "I'm not sure, but…"

_Should I say it?_

I guess it was too late to take it back now. I inhaled slowly, slowing my bike down to a moderate speed. Albert glanced at me curiously. I hesitantly looked into his azure eyes, but soon turned away.

_If I can't say it to his face, I'll say it to the sky._

"I think I might…"

"Oh!" Albert abruptly yelled, almost knocking me off balance. It took me a moment to regain my dazed self.

I whipped my head around, annoyed. "What the hell was that? Can you not yell so suddenly next time?" I retorted. "Geez, are you trying to get me in an accident or something?"

Albert laughed. "Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to surprise you." Then his voice went from the strange transition of nonchalantly apologetic to sneakily suspicious.

"But I get it now. Franz, could it be that you like someone?"

Could it be that I like someone? Yes, maybe Albert was right. I smiled quietly to myself, stifling a laugh. It was all so ironic, in a bittersweet kind of way.

_Like_._ That's a funny word._

It can mean anything from mutual appreciation to intense feelings of admiration – a feeling that is more than friendship. I hadn't really thought about it before until recently.

I looked up, watching the creamy pink clouds drift amongst a pastel-orange sky.

Did I have those feelings?

* * *

A few months earlier, on a humid summer night, Albert and I had laid awake on uncomfortably warm futons in our secret hideout. We were having a sleepover there for the weekend. 

"Aw man, it's so hot in here," Albert complained, pushing off his blanket to open up the window. "You'd think that when we got this place fixed up, we could have at least added a fan or something."

A gust of sticky, moist air flowed into the room. As if it wasn't warm enough already. I rolled over on my side to see Albert shut the window immediately.

"That didn't help," I laughed. "You and your brilliant plan."

Albert only scowled.

"Well, do you have any better ideas?" he suggested.

I shifted over on my back, stretching my arms. Albert was sitting on the side of my futon, cross-legged. I made the assumption that we probably weren't going to go to sleep for a while. With a lack of any reply, Albert was getting annoyed.

"Seriously, Franz. It's so warm in here." He grabbed the collar of his nightshirt and tugged at it, fanning himself. "Isn't there anything we can do?"

"Well, you could take all your clothes off."

"_What?_" Albert just about turned twenty shades of pink.

I laughed, pulling myself off my back to sit up next to him. If we weren't going to go to sleep, what was the point in lying down?

"I was just kidding, Albert." I hit him with a pillow to snap him out of his embarrassed astonishment. "Of course I wasn't being serious."

"Still. Don't joke around about stuff like that," Albert protested. "You're going to give me a heart attack one day."

"Nah." I replied, grinning.

Albert shot me an annoyed look, but then seemed to forget about it pretty quickly. "I'm going to lie down for a bit," he told me. I watched as Albert lowered himself on my futon, still fanning himself by tugging at his shirt. He let his eyes close slowly.

"I feel so tired…" he mumbled. "But I can't fall asleep."

I smiled at his serene disposition. He looked so calm... so innocent. I could smell his warm scent: it was of soap and summer winds. His beautifully sound expression was silent, gently glowing as he basked in slivers of moonlight.

There was an aching under my throat: I wanted to reach out to him, touch him. I could feel my breath trembling as I imagined his body next to mine. I just wanted to close my arms around him, to have his soft face against my own.

It was such a simple, pure desire. Surely there was nothing wrong with that...

I leaned forward.

"Albert…"

"Huh?" he lazily turned towards my direction, opening his eyes. I was kneeling over him, reaching out for his right hand. His eyes grew wide. "Franz, what are you…"

"Albert, stop fanning yourself like that." I pulled his hand off of his collar. "See, look, it's already stretched. You looked like you were going to rip a hole in that thing."

"What are you, my mother?" His mood had quickly changed from confused to irritated. But at the same time, he was blushing. "I wasn't going to rip a hole in it. I'm not that stupid."

"You're so easy to embarrass," I teased him.

But Albert said nothing. He was silent for a moment, staring at the moonlight pouring in through the window. The stars were reflected in his eyes.

I began to worry that maybe I'd gone too far.

"Albert, I'm sorry, I –"

"Franz…" Albert's voice was soft, pensive. He seemed serious.

"Huh? What is it?"

"Yesterday…" Albert studied the night sky thoughtfully.

"Yesterday, Eugénie told me that she likes someone…" he paused. "But she wouldn't tell me who."

My stomach began to feel weird, but I said nothing. Albert blinked, turning towards my eyes.

"Franz… what do you think it's like?"

"What do I think what's like?" I clutched a corner of my blanket in a clenched fist. "What's into you all of a sudden?"

"I mean, what is it like to _like_ someone?" he asked, directing the question to the moon this time. It must have been awkward for him to talk about such things, because his cheeks were bright pink.

"Not just as friends, but you know, in a romantic sort of way." He let out a strange cough. "You've always seemed like the mature one, so I thought you might know, that's all."

He was looking at the moon, but I could see that Albert's eyes were anxious. They were glistening with curiosity, with hesitant interest, maybe. What was he thinking of? What feelings did he have right now?

"I…" Searching for the right words to say, I paused. "I think it's when you care about someone more than you care about yourself." I lay down next to my friend to look at the stars with him.

"You're emotionally and mentally close with this person… and you want to hold them, to embrace them, maybe even kiss them – but just being with them is more than enough. When you care about them so much that you just want them to be happy… even if it means giving up your own life."

Albert turned to me slowly, looking straight into my eyes. Mouth slightly agape, he seemed awed beyond words.

"Franz…" he told me gently, "I don't really get it, but…"

"But what?" I ventured. I watched as his brow furrowed in thought.

"I don't think that's it."

"It's not?" I put my hands behind my head, resting on my pillow. "Oh."

"No… I think that's love."

* * *

The clicking of my tires disturbed my thoughts. Albert was biking behind me now, throwing an arm up in the air. 

"You _do _like someone!" he exclaimed triumphantly. "I knew it!"

"Maybe…" The breeze felt cool and inviting against my cheeks. Long shadows stretched along the ground. Under my breath, I mumbled: "But maybe it's more than that."

"So who are you really after?" Albert prodded. "Come on! Just give me a hint!"

I laughed. Turning around to my best friend, I could see an expectant smirk spread across his face. His tousled brown hair shone sepia in the afternoon light.

When I didn't reply right away, he blinked at me with his liquid blue eyes, my face reflected in them.

"What?" he asked.

I smiled.

"You wouldn't get it."


	6. Act V: Revelation, Part 1

**Act V - Revelation (Part 1)  
**

**

* * *

**

_This is how I came to accept my feelings for you._

I don't believe in things like destiny. You know that I won't put my trust into some supposedly pre-determined future called fate. To believe in fate is to rely on the false hope that our lives have already been prophesized for us. Some time ago, I decided that I'm not going to sit back and let things unravel before me. I'm not that type of person.

Fate. It's foolish to depend on something like that.

But you sometimes make me wonder why. Why is it that I refuse to believe that everyone has a due course? Maybe it's because I want to live free of such restricting rules. By being independent, by being in control of my own life… am I really being strong? Or is there something that I've failed to acknowledge?

If there was such a thing as fate, or destiny, or whatever you want to call it – I realize – then you and I have different paths. Separate paths. Ones in which you'll be incapable of ever comprehending just who you are to me.

Is that why I choose not to believe in it?

* * *

The late-August sun felt pleasant against my face, spilling its softly vibrant rays on the undulating waves of seawater. It wasn't too hot that day: an occasional cooling breeze would sweep across the glittering surface of the beach. An untainted blue sky of sparse clouds met the horizon beyond the ocean, where two lone seagulls took flight among the summer winds. A beautiful, windy day. 

It was the morning of Albert's fifteenth birthday.

Pushing my elbows off the white-painted balcony of our room, I turned away from the ocean. As I walked over to the beds, I realized my suspicions were true: he was still sleeping. Albert was never much of an early riser. He remained asleep in a mess of blankets and pillows, buried under the mountain that was his bed.

"Hey, wake up, Albert." I pulled a spare pillow off my own bed, smacking it down on Albert's half-covered forehead. "We've got to go meet Eugénie on the beach."

He must have been really tired, because he didn't even bother squirming in annoyance or shooting some sort of smart remark at me. He only protested with an apathetic groan, wiggling deeper into the piles of bed sheets. "Just give me five more minutes," he mumbled lazily.

"How much more rested can you get in five minutes?" I asked him, rather rhetorically. "Come on, let's not be late."

But Albert didn't seem too enthusiastic about the proposal. "Ugh… why do we have to wake up so early?"

"It's only seven o'clock," I told him, pointing towards his wristwatch that lay on the night table. Not that he'd look at it, though. He didn't even bother moving. "Okay, so it's six-thirty, but come on, get up already."

"But…" Albert mumbled into his pillow, "It's my birthday…"

I raised an eyebrow at him.

Should I do it? Ah well, with someone as lazy as him, I had no choice. I hoped he wouldn't get too mad at me for this…

I dropped the pillow that was clutched in my hands to the floor and grabbed onto the edge one of the sheets that Albert was tangled up in.

"Albert…" It was a little hard to restrain my mischievous smile. "Al…bert…"

Albert didn't really react much to the strange tone of my voice, just mumbling something incoherent about being sleepy. This was my chance.

"Get up!" I yelled, drawing my arms back to violently tug the sheet out from under him. I was about to laugh in triumph, to mock his unsightly downfall when he would crash painfully onto the floor.

But nothing happened

I realized that the sheet hadn't budged at all. The sluggish mound that was Albert hadn't moved. "Huh?"

A hand emerged from the sheets and firmly grasped my wrist, yanking me down to the bed. I was plummeted with pillows to the head.

"Thought you could trick me, did you?" He struck me again, laughing. I'd been defeated. "Yeah, right!"

"Albert!" Annoyed, I grabbed a nearby pillow, plunking it on Albert's forehead.

I guess somewhere in my mind came the thought that we were probably too old for this, but what did it matter? I wasn't going to let it end here.

Albert only laughed, myself along with him. He pummeled me with endless hits, cornering me on the bed as I wriggled to the nearest unclaimed weapon. Another pillow, that is. I pulled it off the mattress, and with a satisfying _thunk,_ I brought him down with me.

"Too weak!" he exclaimed, rolling away as a defensive maneuver to evade my strikes. He was quite a resilient one.

"Ugh… Albert!" I was getting irritated, but in a lighthearted sort of way. He disappeared under the mass of blankets. I dove after him.

He shouldn't be too hard to catch, I assured myself. Searching through the bed sheets, I spontaneously grabbed a particularly protruding heap. "Gotcha!"

My hands closed around empty white cloth. "Damn it."

"Hah!" Albert ambushed me from behind, jumping onto my back and sending the two of us rolling to the other end of the bed.

We wrestled one another, attacking each other with pillows, laughing as we knotted ourselves in the sheets. I tried to push Albert over, panting as I struggled to break free from his grip. But he didn't let go. His hands clutched my shoulders, clumsily turning me over on the mattress to look up at him.

I stopped breathing. Suddenly, it didn't seem like a game anymore.

It appeared that Albert had realized something was different, too. His face was blushing a shade of deep pink, gasping to regain his breath. I couldn't help but notice that his arms were shaking.

Neither of us said anything.

I stared into his eyes, unable to break out of my daze. Nervously, Albert brought his hands down to close around my back. His touch was reluctant, uncertain.

I was ashamed to feel my heart beat faster as the space closed between the two of us. His unsteady exhales tickled the side of my mouth as he drew nearer. When his chest came down to press against mine, I shivered involuntarily.

Something inside me was tingling: I could feel my own breathing become heavier while I grew hot.

_Oh, shit._

My hands were trembling. The idea of venturing Albert's slightly open mouth with my own didn't seem all that bad anymore.

_Is this really okay?_

But at the moment, it didn't seem to matter. I was hesitantly pulling myself up, slowly bringing my hands to his face. I met his face in my palms, stroking his flushed cheek delicately. The consuming aching that thrived within my stomach was unbearable.

His lips nearly brushed against my nose, quivering in tentative anticipation. I closed my eyes, gently bringing him closer to me as I leaned forward. I could taste his warm, wet breath on the tip of my tongue.

There was a knock at the door.

"Geez, you guys," an impatient voice called. "How long does it take you two to get ready?"

Albert immediately jumped up, dropping me onto the mattress and leaving me stunned and uncoordinated. "W-We'll be right there, Eugénie!" he called, straining to make his voice sound as casual as possible.

"You'd better be!" she warned us teasingly. "I had to wait out there for so long!"

"Uh, y-yeah…" I awkwardly pulled myself off of the bed. It was hard to think straight. "We'll meet you at the shore."

"Okay," she replied from the other side of the door. "See you in fifteen minutes."

And with that, she left.

As I walked over to the table to retrieve our beach towels, I kept thinking about how much worse it could have been if Eugénie had entered our room instead of knocking. She did have a key, after all, this being her summer villa. I kept blinking, as if to shake off the thought, but all it accomplished was making me look like an idiot.

Albert hadn't looked at me. He was standing by the bed awkwardly; staring at it as if it was alive. To give himself something to do, he started making his bed, throwing aside all the extra pillows onto an unoccupied chair.

And Albert never makes his bed.

I turned away, stuffing a bottle of suntan lotion into our bag. As I reached for my sandals, I noticed something. The ruffling of sheets had stopped.

"I… I'm going to go take a shower now," Albert told me rather casually, save for the fact that his eyes were elsewhere. Apparently, the wall was a lot more interesting than my face. "So you get our stuff ready, okay?"

"Yeah." My reply was emotionless.

I didn't bother telling him that I already had our belongings gathered up and ready to go. And even as he left our room with a towel in hand, I didn't bother telling him that there was no point in taking a shower, since we were going to go to the beach anyway.

It was hard enough looking at him.

As I listened to the sound of running water from two doors down, all I could think about was how his lips would have felt on mine.

* * *

He hadn't mentioned it since this morning. And in a way, although I might have been disappointed to some degree because he acted as if it never happened, I was mostly relieved he didn't bring it up. 

"This cheese…" Albert began. He was eating the food I'd brought for our picnic off of a paper plate. Thoughtfully chewing it for a moment, he decided: "…tastes like sand."

"And you've eaten sand before?" I responded, with a rather half-hearted chuckle.

I leaned back on an elbow, stretching my legs out in front of me to bury my toes in the warm sand. It was late morning and the two of us were on our beach towel, just relaxing in the sun. I watched as the waves collided against the shore before pulling back again into the sea.

Albert didn't seem very amused with my accusation. But he didn't seem too bothered by it, either. Stifling a yawn, he shifted as he put down his plate to rest his hands behind him.

"Hey, Franz…"

"What is it?" I let the welcoming breeze tease by my face. For a summer day, it sure was mild.

"How do you feel about Valentine?" He scooped up a handful of sand and let it flow through his fingers. "You know, since she's your fiancée."

I blinked at him, my face vacant. Now that someone had brought it up, I realized I didn't think of her that much. Valentine was a kind girl: sweet, thoughtful, and maybe a little shy. I liked her, I guess, but as a friend. Why wasn't it anything more?

"I like her…" I replied, watching the clouds drift by. I was talking to myself more so than to Albert. "…as a friend."

He looked up at me thoughtfully. "You don't love her?"

It had been so many years ago, but the memory was still fresh. I remembered his kind smile to her as he held the melted droplet that was once a snowflake.

_Yeah. But it's nice while it lasts, huh?_

"Albert… to love someone…" I smiled knowingly at him. "It's sort of a troublesome thing."

_After all, you only get hurt in the end, right?_

"Hey!" Eugénie called to us from a little ways behind. "Franz! Albert!" She lifted a hand to wave at us, but as she did, a gust of air captured her pink sunhat, sailing it away from her reach.

This favorite hat of hers, the one she'd just gotten the year before, was already too far for us to pursue. It floated, windswept, over the vast ocean until it was only a tiny glimmer in the distance.

* * *

On a tepid May afternoon, the distinctive clanging of clashing metal had rung throughout the courtyard. 

Albert's eyes were determined, glaring at me with undeclared intensity. He took another swing, slightly catching me off guard and nearly dealing a blow to my side. I defended frantically, holding my sword tightly by the hilt to block his attack.

When I saw an opening, I lunged forward, slashing the blade towards his torso. Albert seemed the least bit fazed: he held his weapon upright, successfully impeding my movements, his eyes alight with frustration.

I had missed again, even after trying to shake off any distractions. What was wrong with me today?

"Why?" Albert yelled firmly, taking jabs at my weak defense. "Why did you have to get so upset when I gave it to her?" His voice was spiteful; he was spitting out his words in distaste.

"What are you talking about?" I tried to hinder his movement, taking a few steps back and desperately knocking his advances away, but he was too fast.

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about!" he exclaimed, aggressively closing in on my inept movements. "After I gave her the hat!"

"I was upset?" I dubiously retorted, struggling to keep pace with his rapid technique. "What?"

Albert seemed to be even more angered. He crashed his sword against mine before yanking it away to deliver timely, consecutive blows. In my confused state of mind, I could barely recognize his actions in time to properly avoid them and respond with a counterattack.

Even so, it wasn't enough. He pushed me against the stone wall, defiantly pointing the tip of his blade to my face.

"You ignored me for days!" he shouted, inching the sword a few uncomfortable centimeters closer. His breath was ragged but resolute. "What did I do to deserve it?"

_Albert, for someone skilled at combat, you can be so blind._

"You didn't do anything!" Taking the short amount of time in which Albert used to regain his stance, I sliced through the air to break free from his jurisdiction. Albert swiftly drew back, evading my sudden offensive explosion.

_Ah, it's so much easier to fight when I'm angry._

I pummeled my best friend with continuous attacks, but he only greeted me with equal hostility. He took advantage of my messy onslaught of mindless movements: he cut into my posture and swerved the sword dangerously close to my eyes.

"Just say it!" He furiously hacked away at my attempts to secure him.

"What?" I incredulously yelled back, my own voice tinged with aggravation. "Say what?"

"That you hate me!" he cried out, bringing his blade against my own with a thundering clang. "And that's why you avoided me for so long!"

"_What?_" my incessant swings began to become few and far between.

"Stop pretending, Franz!" Albert's advances were becoming uncharacteristic of him, unrefined and all over the place. "If you hate me that much, just stop hanging around me!"

"_Hate_ you?" I brought my sword down from in front of me, letting it dangle in my hand as I stared at my friend in disbelief. "Why would I hateyou?"

The image of that unsettling day still burned in my mind.

_Fine, then! Don't ever come back!_

I'd learned then, that things like hatred, resentment… such emotions are useless. They're unproductive. What's the point of having such feelings, if inevitably, they will only hurt the ones you love most?

Albert abruptly stopped, his hand trembling as he held his weapon at eye level. "Because… Franz, because you…"

"Albert…" I found my voice becoming gentle. "Albert, listen. Hate… hate is a consuming emotion."

Albert continued to stare at me, but his irritated expression began to lighten as his brows lifted.

"It eats at you, makes you go crazy. And if you hate… in the end, you'll regret having such feelings." I looked away, clutching my sword a little tighter. "I could never hate you."

"I'm sorry, Albert, if you thought I felt that way."

He had smiled sympathetically at me then, his eyes wavering with appreciation. "Franz…"

In a single, agile motion, I lifted my blade up and swerved it towards Albert, easily knocking his own sword out of his grasp. It fell to the stone-paved ground with a resounding clatter.

I grinned. "Your loss," I told him.

He stared at me blankly for a few seconds, before shaking his head with a compliant laugh. "Want to train again tomorrow?"

* * *

"Aw, come on, Eugénie." Albert pulled on her arm, urging her to get up. She refused to move. It was a shame, too – it was barely noon, the perfect time of day to be at the beach, and she was wasting her time by sitting around and being depressed. 

"I'll buy you another one." he offered.

"No, it's not that…" her solemn voice trailed off, eyes lingering towards the ocean. Seagulls squawked overhead. "That one was _special._"

I let out an exasperated sigh, turning away. "Girls and their _special_ belongings. I'll just never get it."

"Franz!" Albert shot me an annoyed look. I looked back at the two of them through casual a sideways glace, shrugging.

Looking over to our picnic site, I saw the cooler that Eugénie had brought over earlier. Struck with a sudden spontaneous idea, I walked over to it.

_Hmm, the ice should be melted by now._

Meanwhile, Albert was trying to comfort his sulking friend. "Let's go swimming, okay? Since we came all the way here, it would be a waste if we didn't."

But Eugénie was uninterested. "No, I'm all right Albert… you two go without me." She smiled. "I'll just stay – "

"Ahhh!" Eugénie shrieked in surprise as she was flooded in a shower of chillingly numb ice water. "Franz!"

She pushed herself off her feet and chased after me, yelling expletives when I only laughed. Albert ran after the both of us, trying – quite unsuccessfully – to calm us down.

The three of us stumbled and tripped into the ocean, yelling as we splashed water in each other's faces, falling on top of one another when the waves crashed down. We continued like this for hours, laughing together as the lucid azure horizon gradually blended into a deep shade of orange.

Somewhere along the way, amidst the shouts and sloshing water and cheese that tasted like sand, I realized that this day was going to be a memorable one.


	7. Act V: Revelation, Part 2

**Act V - Revelation (Part 2)**

**

* * *

**

"Happy birthday, Albert!" Eugénie and I chimed in unison.

Albert leaned forward, simultaneously blowing out the fifteen candles on his cake with a large breath of air. It was a sponge cake, one of those intricately-decorated ones with a combination of both chocolate and vanilla icing. Other than that, Albert hadn't insisted on anything in particular for his birthday celebration. He didn't even want gifts.

"You don't need to get me anything this year," he'd told us the week before, when Eugénie had casually asked him if there was something he wanted. "I'm fine with just being able to be with you guys."

Of course, that was when Eugénie had tried to convince him that we needed to do _something_ special, at the very least. When we couldn't come up with any good ideas – partly because Albert was unquestionably adamant in refusing any type of present – she'd suggested that we spend a few days together at her summer villa.

In the end, a grumbling, unwilling Albert had been dragged along with us for the trip. His resistance soon disappeared when we'd got to the beach on the first afternoon of our stay, however.

_Stop it with the act, Albert. _I plucked off one of the candles and stuck the icing-coated side in my mouth. It tasted rich of buttery sugar.

I smiled, watching as Albert and Eugénie fought over the knife to cut the cake. He tried too hard to be altruistic sometimes. _Being honest about wanting something doesn't make you selfish._

The three of us were at the local café, seated at an outdoor table, immersed in the city skylights. The bustling urban commotion cast colorful, dancing lights upon us.

Idle chatter and the amiable background music had been drowned out by Albert and Eugénie's continuous bickering. We'd just recently finished our dinner and now we were… well, making quite a scene.

"Albert, you'll mess it up! You're too clumsy." Eugénie protested, tugging at the serving knife in his hands. "Just let me cut it."

"What?" Albert was annoyed, but clearly not taking her comments seriously. He yanked the utensil out of her grasp. "I'm not going to mess it up!"

"Hey, you guys," – I lifted a hand to get their attention – "Just keep it down a little, will you?"

The two of them swerved around to glare at me instantly, sending off unappreciative vibes. No use, huh? I shouldn't have expected them to comply. I drew back hesitantly, raising my eyebrows. "Okay, sorry… go on then."

Putting my indifferent invitation to good use, they continued to argue, pulling the knife from one side of the table to the other. At first, it was sort of amusing to watch, but now it was just getting tiresome. I leaned my forehead down on the table to drown out the noise, defeated.

"You're going to cut it all wrong!" Eugénie cried, making an attempt to snatch the knife from Albert's firm grip. "Come on, just give it to me."

"Why would I cut it wrong?" he retorted. "And what makes you think you'll be able to do it better? Have _you_ ever cut a cake before?"

"Of course I have, you idiot!" Eugénie yelled back, frowning. "Why do you have to be so stubborn all the time?"

This was getting pointless. It had to come to an end somewhere. Decidedly pushing myself up, I slammed my hands onto the table. "Stop it already!"

"Can't you see you're just embarrassing yourselves?" They said nothing, frozen in the aftershock of my serious disposition. I turned to take a step towards Albert.

"If you two can't decide, I'll cut –"

My leg collided against the edge of the table, tipping it momentarily and sending the cake spiraling off balance. On its raised glass stand, it wobbled, spun erratically across the table before falling with a sudden splat.

Right on top of Albert.

During the confusion, he'd somehow tumbled to the ground, the cake along with him. Eugénie was standing above him, suspended in motion. I had my arm in the air, my mouth gaping in wordless murmurs. The entire café – save for the jovial background music, which seemed almost ironic now – was silent.

Albert stared down at his new dress shirt with wide eyes. He'd bought it just a few days before, and now it was caked in – no pun intended – chunks of his birthday dessert and multi-colored icing.

"Well… there goes fifty euros." Albert looked up at us, an amused smile on his face. Then, using the serving knife that was still in his hand, he scooped up a lump of the crumbling confectionary. "Want a piece, Eugénie?"

Maybe it was Eugénie who started it first then. Maybe it was me. Then again, it could have just as likely been Albert. It was a nervous giggle, soon followed by a full-out laugh-fest. Whoever it was, within minutes, we were clutching at our sides from running out of air.

Well, except for Albert, of course. He couldn't clutch at his sides unless he wanted to squish what remained of the cake in his hands.

A couple minutes later, we were sprawled out on the ground next to Albert, eating the crumpled cake off of his shirt as if it was a plate. Sure, people gave us odd looks, but who cared? We couldn't let the cake go to waste.

When only crumbs and smears of icing remained, Albert got up, brushing himself off. He smiled as he looked down at his ruined shirt with a hint of remorse, but didn't seem that upset. He turned to Eugénie and me, placing the serving knife on the table.

"I'm going to get cleaned up now, okay?" he told us. "It won't take too long."

I took a seat at the table. "Go ahead. We'll wait for you here."

As Albert left for the restroom, Eugénie sat down next to me. She let out a content sigh. "That was actually pretty fun," she laughed. "It was the first time I've ever eaten off a shirt."

"Yeah." I let out a tired yawn. We'd done a lot that day. "But if I hadn't accidentally knocked the cake over, you two would probably still be fighting."

"Nah," Eugénie replied. "He would have given in eventually." Then, looking towards the glimmering lights of the city, she added: "But he's always so stubborn."

"Well, you'll have to get used to it," I chuckled. I knew I had, a long time ago. "He's the stubborn guy you'll have to marry."

Eugénie immediately turned away as her cheeks became pink. "O-Of course," she replied. "I'm just annoyed by him sometimes."

But her wistful eyes seemed to express otherwise.

"You know Eugénie, speaking of marriages…" I absent-mindedly played with a napkin in my fingers.

"Yeah?" She turned back to me.

"Albert asked me a weird question today." My voice was casual, but a little diffident. I wasn't even sure why I was going to tell her this.

"Oh," Eugénie's eyes lit up. "So what did he say?"

"He asked me… if I loved Valentine."

"That's not really a weird question," Eugénie replied reasonably. "You two are engaged."

"I know," I hastily responded, shoving the napkin aside. It was beginning to become distracting. "But he just asked it so suddenly."

"I see. So what did you tell him?"

"I told him that I like her as a friend." Unlike my ashamed temperament, Eugénie seemed the least bit affected.

"Hmm," she said.

"What? 'Hmm?'" I was confused. "You don't think it's weird that I don't love my fiancée?"

Eugénie laughed warmly. "Franz, why would you think that's weird?"

I said nothing.

"It's normal," she assured me. "Not loving your fiancée isn't a big deal."

"How can you say that so casually?" I raised an eyebrow skeptically. "I'm going to have to marry this person, and I can't think of her as anything more than a friend!"

"Because, Franz…" She let out a sigh, seeming impatient with how dense I could be. "She's your _arranged_ fiancée. It's not as if _you_ asked her to marry you."

_Well, she does have a point._

"So not having feelings for her… that's not surprising, to be honest. It's as natural as… say…" She tilted her head on an angle and squinted a bit, searching for the right analogy. "Oh, I know."

"It's as natural as loving someone who isn't your fiancée."

I paused, her words echoing on the surface of my mind.

_Ah, that's right._

I could only stare as Eugénie smiled kindly at my blank expression, unaware of the thoughts that were swimming around in my head. It was as if she had turned on a switch in my mind somewhere.

_Why didn't I realize this before?_

A hand clasped on my shoulder, causing me to nearly jump out of my seat. "Hey, what are you guys talking about?"

I looked up to see Albert, his sopping wet shirt with smudges of icing still stuck to it. It looked like he couldn't clean it up properly.

"Were you talking about me?" he guessed slyly, a teasing smirk on his face.

I laughed, but Eugénie only blushed. "Don't think so highly of yourself, Albert." I told him. "You're not _that_ interesting."

"Hey!" I couldn't help but smile in response to his displeased frown.

"So…" I pushed myself away from our table, standing up. "Let's go home now, shall we?"

* * *

I found myself having rather unwanted difficulties later that night. 

It's not like I particularly brought it upon myself, even though I'd been the one to knock the cake over. If I had known it would be distracting me so much now, I would have just let them argue for as long as they pleased. It would have been irritating to put up with at the time, but that would've been a much more preferable alternative than _this._

After roaming around the city to observe the nightlife for a while, the three of us had arrived back at Eugénie's villa shortly after ten. Exhausted in a rather satisfying way, we'd dragged ourselves up the stairs to our rooms, laughing and fooling around in our fatigued daze. Eugénie had casually bid us our goodnight's and told us that she'd left some fresh towels in the bathroom in case we needed them the next morning.

So, nothing seemed out of the ordinary really.

But Albert, almost half-asleep from our tiring excursion, still insisted on getting out the stains left by the icing. That, I normally wouldn't mind – except Albert, for some strange reason, had to undertake the cleaning process of his shirt without actually having it on.

"Aw, it won't come off," Albert scrubbed harder on the crumpled fabric spread out on his bed with a damp facecloth. "The color's seeped into it already."

"Don't do that over there," I retorted unsupportively, pulling the comforter off of my bed. "You'll stain the mattress. Go do that on the table or something."

I was doing something – anything to make sure I that my eyes didn't have to meet Albert's bare chest in the process. After all, what was I supposed to do if he realized I was staring at him?

"Geez Franz," Albert griped at my suggestion, though he complied nonetheless. Setting down his shirt on the table, he rubbed vigorously against the stains. "Ugh, this isn't working. Does Eugénie have some type of bleach around here we could use?"

But I wasn't listening.

My mind was elsewhere, trying to determine the lingering questions that plagued my thoughts. When we'd been younger, seeing Albert without his shirt on hadn't really bothered me before. I mean, we were kids then, so it wasn't a big deal, right?

Now, I felt different. In a mortifyingly heated sort of way.

Great. And it was all because of what had happened this morning. Because of the situation that had reawakened itself in my mind, I couldn't look at him with such careless ease now.

How could I? How could I even try to, when I had this panging in my chest that was urging me to hold him, touch him, feel his warmth in my arms, to look into his clear blue eyes and…

"Hey, Franz," Albert was calling from across the room. "Did you hear me?"

I shut my eyes, letting my head droop. How could I be thinking of such embarrassing things?

I had been keeping myself preoccupied with needlessly straightening up the beds, but Albert hadn't noticed how seemingly pointless my actions were. Not too far away, he was still hunched over the table, attentively wiping at the stains.

"Uh, no…" Realizing what I'd just said, I took my words back immediately. "I mean no, I don't think she has any bleach."

Albert let out a resolute sigh. "I guess there's no helping it then. I'll just put this in the sink and let it soak in water overnight."

As he turned away from the table and began to head towards the bathroom, wet shirt in hand, I decided that there was _something_ I needed to do about it. I pulled one of my own shirts out of my suitcase, throwing it at my friend.

"At least put on a shirt, Albert."

He stared me blankly, but soon replied. "Thanks."

"Oh, and turn off the light when you leave, will you?" I asked as I sat down on the side of the mattress, yawning. "I'm going to go to sleep now."

"Yeah. I'll be back in a few minutes." He walked over to the door, pushing it open before turning back to meet my eyes. He stood there for a moment, just looking at me. "Franz…"

"What?" I looked up at him in mid-yawn. His hand was resting on the polished doorknob, the door still ajar. There was a strange air of serenity that surrounded him as he gazed into my eyes.

Albert smiled slightly. "Today was fun, wasn't it?"

When I found myself unexpectedly at a loss for words, I could only agree.

"Yeah. It was."

The light flicked off silently, soon followed by the gentle closing of the door behind him.

I flopped down onto my bed, pushing the hair out of my face with back of my palm. It was comfortably cool in there due to the occasional breeze that flowed its way through the open balcony window.

I had settled my head in an untouched pillow, listening to the faint sounds of the whispering tides. Waves crashed, waves pulled away, returning to the vast ocean to meet the shore once again. I basked in its calming resonance. It was a continuous, soothing cycle.

I turned to the sky then. Staring up at the stars, I saw Albert's quiet, pensive expression from that humid summer night two years ago.

_No… I think that's love._

Moonlight illuminated my eyes: everything seemed so blue. I had finally realized what I'd been ignoring for so long.

_This whole time, I've just been afraid._

_

* * *

_

It's cold here.

When I try to lift my hands, bring them before me to grope at the darkness, my fingers close around vacant space. My eyes are of no use in such an unfathomable place. The air that surrounds me is thin and stagnant, painfully empty.

I am alone, trapped in a cage of steel.

Something is coming forward, approaching me. My breath is becoming ragged, heavy and uncontrolled. I can feel a choking strain tearing within my chest as I struggle to gasp for air. My eyes sting of nonexistent tears.

The aftermath of a duel is but an endless abyss.

Demise is swallowing me now, omnipotent and unheeding, in the manifestation of a throbbing, aching pain. It's spilling out of me: endless pools of crimson tears, draining me of my willpower. Somewhere within my thoughts, I've known that this would be inevitable.

Then, why is it?

I'm numb with exhaustion, slowly drifting away. It's like watching falling snowflakes float down to land on my eyelids, offering to ease me into a deep, unchanging sleep. And I'm accepting it.

Why am I not anxious? Why don't I feel fear; why don't I try to escape?

As if in response, my body slowly begins to tingle. My fingers twitch. I realize it then: there are arms around me, breathing life into my being, enveloping me in affection. Two clear azure eyes hold me in their gaze, calling for me.

_Ah, that's why._

I don't need anything more. As dawning light cradles me gently, I see those eyes once more. And I'm glad… I'm thankful of my decision. In those arms, I have no regrets. I smile.

It's warm here.

* * *

I woke up in a cold sweat. 

My hands were trembling and I was sweating profusely. My bed felt uncomfortably damp in perspiration. As I pushed myself up off the mattress in apprehension, it took me a couple seconds to recognize where I was. I was panting, blinking to clear my head.

When was the last time I'd had a nightmare like this?

As my eyes got adjusted to the dim atmosphere of the room, they wandered to register the long shadows that were spread across the carpet by the moonlight. I shivered, clutching my blanket in clenched fists. I couldn't even remember what I had been dreaming about, and yet I felt so uneasy.

Something came over me then, drowning me in simultaneous waves of fear. I sat crouched on my bed, shaking in a confused panic. I had never felt so unbearably helpless before. It was hard to breathe.

"Franz?" a voice asked quietly. From the bed beside me came a ruffling of sheets. When I didn't reply, he called again. "Franz… are you okay?"

"I… I think I had a bad dream," my words warbled between my choking breaths. I couldn't bring myself out of the sea of emotions that had swallowed me.

"Franz…" Albert pushed away his blanket, slowly getting off his bed. His figure was outlined in the faint moonlight.

"I'm fine," I told him, but my inexplicable quivering was beyond my control. I turned away as he neared me. I didn't want him to see me in such a vulnerable state. Wasn't I supposed to protect him? "Don't worry about it, just go back to sleep."

But Albert didn't listen. He went over to sit by my side, his eyes concerned. "Hey," he said.

I turned to look up at my best friend. He possessed an expression I'd never seen before. It was a kind, worried smile, his gaze sympathetic in an implicit way.

My wavering eyes locked onto his. He lifted his hands, and in a fluid, continuous motion, he wrapped them around me, tenderly bringing my head against his shoulder. "It's okay."

I brought my own arms to surround him, my breathing beginning to calm as I relaxed in his warmth.

Albert surveyed me with nostalgic eyes, watching as I exhaled evenly. He let out a quiet laugh. "Remember when you used to hold me like this when we were younger?"

I held him a little tighter. "Yeah."

"It always made me feel better."

I lifted my head to meet his eyes. Albert didn't do anything, he didn't even blink – he only stared at me with silent appreciation. His azure eyes shone softly, shimmering slightly in the moonlight.

_Albert, I used to think that I was doing the right thing._

"Are you all right now?" he asked gently.

_I would always look after you; protect you when you were in danger._

"Albert…" I sat upright, causing his hands to slide to the bed. He said nothing. Carefully, I lifted a hand to stroke his face, holding his gaze up to mine. "Just… stay here for a while."

_I thought I was being strong._

It wasn't anything like what had happened that morning – unexpected, nervous and hesitant. What happened then felt so natural. I slowly pulled him closer to me, breathing in his familiar scent as he grew nearer.

_When in reality, this whole time…_

Our lips met gently with such a delicate patience that caused my heart to ache. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, delving deeper into my embrace. Long-suppressed desires flowed out of me as I caressed the taste of his kiss. I held his body against my own, cherishing the warmth of his mouth against mine.

_I've just been running away._

That day at my father's funeral, when I had started to run, to escape from my guilt, I had never stopped. I had resolved I couldn't be selfish and rely on others anymore: I would have to make them rely on me. By protecting Albert, by holding him close to me when he was afraid, I thought he needed me. I thought that it would make him need me.

When this whole time… it had been the other way around.

When I realized that he may not always be with me, I didn't know what to do. It hurt to see him with others. And because it hurt, I didn't want to have those feelings about him. In the end, I couldn't help it. It was Albert after all, my best friend. I couldn't change how I felt: and so I continued to run.

I hadn't changed that much. In truth, I was the one afraid: afraid of not being able to protect others, afraid of admitting my feelings to myself, afraid of losing him, afraid of getting hurt… but most of all, I was afraid of being able to love honestly.

Because love, just like hate, is a hurtful, troublesome thing at times.

_But now… now, I won't run anymore._

Illuminated in the waning light of the stars, I stroked Albert's hair as he lay on the pillow we shared, snuggled up against my neck. He breathed so peacefully when he was asleep. Smiling at his serene expression, I placed my arms around him, cradling his warmth. Just being able to be with him like this… it was more than enough.

I had made a decision. I wasn't going to be afraid anymore.

I would face and endure whatever hardships happened to come my way. I would protect you with everything within my power; defend your innocent smile that I admire. I'd make sure you wouldn't do anything foolish or impulsive that would cause you pain in the future. It didn't matter how hurt I would become in the process, because I'd care about you more so than I'd care about myself. And if, perhaps, the time comes… I would give up my life for you.

Because Albert, you said it yourself, didn't you?

That's what love is.


	8. Epilogue: Foreshadowing

**Author's Note:** So, if you've read this far, how was it? I tried to keep everyone in character while giving them more than a static, 2-sided personality. Characterization and closure was my main focus in this, actually. So please let me know what you think by leaving a comment/review! I've enjoyed writing this fic, so naturally I hope you've enjoyed reading it as well.

* * *

**Epilogue - Foreshadowing**

******

* * *

**  
_From a spontaneous proposal, our journey begins._

I stand next to you on the balcony in the early hours of the morning, the day after your birthday. The cool breeze teases our faces, brought about by the ocean tides, hushing as they collide at the shore.

You're looking up at the sky now, a sky of an approaching dawn. I can see the sun rise in your eyes, emerging amongst the stars in the blanket of a summer sky. It's as if you're searching for something, your blue eyes wandering through what is left of the night before.

"Franz," you say softly, your voice almost otherworldly, traced with wonder. "Let's go there someday, the two of us."

I study your eyes, but I can't seem to grasp where your thoughts venture. "Go where?" I ask.

The sky is riddled with watercolors, a growing light beginning to rise behind the darkness. Meanwhile, the moon basks in its arrival, its cratered surface momentarily lucid in bright warmth. An alluring, elusive orb, shrouded in mystery.

You're turning towards me now, smiling.

"To Luna."


End file.
